I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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