I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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