How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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