Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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