He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
