You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
