just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I am naked and annoyed.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
