Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
