Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
