Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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