3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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