On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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