What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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