jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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