Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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