google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
