i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
