He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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