This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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