I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
