our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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