pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
