I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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