I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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