Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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