Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
