halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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