No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
