we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
