I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we're so committed to being not committed
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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