I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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