His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Life is so much better after having sex.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I came so hard my ears popped.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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