Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
