maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
