I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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