Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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