Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Randomize
