Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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