you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
