I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
