If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I have fence marks all over my body
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
