i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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