I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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