so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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