I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
