discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
