then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
