an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
