The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
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