I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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