Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
