She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
