I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
