Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
